Midnight Thoughts

I am afraid I cannot sleep tonight. Maybe it is the thunder, or maybe it is that my sweetheart has been out of town for four nights and will not get back for another two days, or maybe it is because all of the Suzuki pieces are swirling around in my mind after two straight days of Suzuki Institute. It could be that my almost 6 month old son is having open heart surgery in two days. I think it is so funny how our bodies can feel utterly exhausted and yet our minds can still be capable of running a marathon of thought.

I certainly have been deep in thought of late. Yes, the whole meaning of life and what on earth I am supposed to be doing to achieve it. One thing I know for sure, is that life is not complete without having people be a part of it, especially the people you are close to.

Since giving birth to a child who was diagnosed with congenital heart defect and Down syndrome, I have definitely begun to see life through differnt lenses. I find I am not as quick to judge; I realize that I may have been living my whole life thinking that accomplishments were everything. I feel like I was so clueless about seeing people simply for who they are. How is it that our sight gets blinded so quickly? It is like we are all stuck in our own little boxes and we cannot see beyond the edges. It has only taken me 29 years to start creeping (yes only creeping) outside my narrow box. (Thanks, Robbie.)

I do not know what the future holds. There are many things yet unknown, but as for now I will do what any of us would do - hold on and hope for the best.